Ace of Pentacles as an Enemy

Last week during Aaron's trial, i did a spread for him that James Wells taught us at the Readers Studio. The shape is this arrow sign pointing up:

5

3 4

1 2

1. Resources: Page of Swords

2. Obstacles: 6 of Swords

3. Advantages: 5 of Swords

4. Disadvantages: Ace of Pentacles

5. What higher self wants you to know: King of Pentacles

So the ready mind engaging in trouble shooting, alert, quick witted, spying and surveillance. Being vigilant and watchful - Got it.

Inability to leave a situation, stuck mentally and physically with delays in plans, etc. as an obstacle.. yup.

Advantage - while not particularly flattering to Aaron, gaining from the misfortune of the PWFH being foolish, ok.. Salvaging as the air clears, good.

Then I came to the disadvantage of the Ace of Pentacles. How in the world can this card be a negative or a disadvantage? This has plagued me all week.

So on the tarot psych board the exercise last week was to choose 3 cards, 1 as a friend, 1 as an enemy, and 1 as a stranger. Last week, one of the posters had her friend as the Ace of Wands and her enemy the High Priestess.

This week's tweak on this was to then make your enemy your friend and your friend your enemy, and she posted how the Ace of Wands might be her enemy. Ok.. too much fire, passion, assertion, I got it.

Then the lightbulb went off for me.. Too much generosity, too much money, too much work, too much effort could very well be a disadvantage of the Ace of Pentacles. And hence the enlightenment, as just last night speaking to my brother, the PWFH was asking for some money from him, asking him to be generous, and he said he would consider it if she would be more agreeable to some other terms. This is money he doesnt have necessarily.. but would have to come up with it should he choose to be agreeable.

I called him up.. I shared that it is not advantageous for him to be this generous with his money, this agreeable with this type of person, as it will never end, the need too abundant, the requests and demands overwhelming and overflowing.

This would feed into what his higher self is saying to him regarding the King of Pentacles.. Eric is right in this interpretation, he needs to be the king in this regard, needs to make the rules and set the boundaries.

Fascinating...

Contemplating Strength

Doing lots of blogging this week, doing lots of readings too. I couldnt really hone in on the what i needed to know card this week until today, though. I was thinking maybe the silent strength was needed of me to support my family, but I dont think so. And certainly that would not facilitate an outcome of the hermit.

Then this morning im reading my email and there is yet another email alerting me to a change in the schedule to one of my meetup groups, specifically this group I just joined called Positive World Spiritual Meetup group. I was asked to join by one of the members who is also in a few of our other groups as well, she had written to me on my profile page, and while this is not necessarily my thing, per se, i did join in support of her.

So she keeps sending out these notes that the details of the meetup have been updated, yet they are the same, no changes have been made from day to day, so i go over to the main page to see if maybe Im missing something. And there is the blurb to this other person, found on the main page in the shout section, that 1 person should not keep him from joining the group, he should be doing what works for him and not allowing other people to ruin it for him.

Ok.. so in regard to this person she wrote this to, this guy has been upset with me for some strange reason, Im not sure why. He had been signed up for our last tarot meetup. I ended up cancelling the meetup because 2 or 3 hours before the meetup was to meet, only 1 person whas signed up to attend, and it would be quite awkward to hold a tarot reading meetup with just 1 person, it just is not the greatest energy, as he is a brand new reader, etc. So I cancelled the meetup for that night.

He got very upset and wrote me this note about how he felt.. explained how much he looks forward to these meetups, and shared some personal issues, which I will not post here, explaining Life as it is for him and the basis of his upset. Understanding and feeling horribly, I then extended some invitations to join us at various other activities and followed it up with a call the next day leaving a message and emailing him. He wrote me back basically asking me to leave him alone, that he was uncomfortable, and asking me not to contact him.

While Ive been kind of bewildered by this, I do respect his feelings and wishes. It has not escaped me that all the groups which we share in common he does not attend those activities where he sees I am coming. This hurts my feelings, as i feel terribly because I really like this person, but again, I respect his feelings.

So when I see this comment on the main board, I really am internalizing this, thinking he is referring to me. This really devastates me. First, I do not understand his reaction. I honestly tried to be sensitive and empathetic to his situation he shared, and while I can understand feeling uncomfortable about sharing too much sometimes with a person, I dont understand necessarily sharing that with other people this way.

And why the organizer of this group would post her response or counsel to this person publically on the home page of a supposed positive spirituality group is ... very telling of her. She advertises herself as a lightworker and reiki master, running a group on positivity, posting negative personality issues on the first page of her board.

I did email her asking her to give me a call, as I wanted to confirm that this reference was about me. Hate to be upset or offended if its not, but i highly doubt this is the case.. too many coincidences. Of course, she hasnt called me.

But my first instinct beyond that is to leave this group, as I really dont have much interest in it anyway, and that is before the lightworker, Reiki master posted this. I certainly do not feel supportive of a person who is so thoughtless, let alone negative this way either.

So then the Strength card comes to mind.. as does my outcome card for the week. In contemplating this, i definitely see my insides behaving like the lion here.. all fire and temper. Am I looking for this person to be the person to make the lion in me feel better? Should I be doing this for myself.. embodying the energy of this card, which would be a patient, kind, sensitive caring woman. Im trying.. ive been trying all along in regard to both of these people.

My instinct all along in regard to this gentleman is that when I see him to go over and give him a supportive hug and tell him how happy I am to see him. I feel that way.. i know underneath that his behavior is that of a person who is lonely and in pain and not about me.

But this other lady.. shes been rubbing me the wrong way for a bit. Shes one of those people who is kinda loud, always talking, knows something about everything. She goes to these meetups and ends up being the assistant and center of attention..lol.. which is great, i like the leader in her. But there is always something over the top about her. I had invited her and her husband over one night to play cards, as she was saying they are trying to make friends here.. and they were going to come, but like 3 days before cancelled because she had to work. Yet when we were walking told me she thought I didnt like people who had been married before based on me asking her how many times she had been married. Feeling terribly and telling her so, I explained I asked that question because i was trying to get to know her, not judge her. Of course, had she been doing the same, she would have found out that I, too, was previously married. I felt this had a lot to do with her cancelling. I was fine with her cancelling, it really was not a big deal and i kinda felt like they would..

But I can see the hermit card outcome, as my other instinct is to exit out of these groups I am in with her. I know this is my hurt feelings lashing out. Again, the quiet energy of the Strength card comes to mind and I guess the key to approaching this lies in this energy for me. I do not have the time or desire to have this type of thing in my life. I am waaay too old to have this immature, gossipy negativity, nor do i need to belong to groups where I am not having a great time, and I can quietly with strength and dignity do my thing elsewhere. I dont like being shoved out of things.. where i miss out on fun stuff while everyone else is out making friends - I dont want to be the enlightened hermit in a cave with just my illuminated lantern.

I cannot seem to get out of my own way when it comes to this stuff..LOL

The Lord of Ruin - Validation

So this card has been chasing me around this past week in regard to my brother, and today I am starting to get some validation on this. I cant remember which position this came up in his original cube reading, though it has to be either change he can prepare for or what he is not seeing. Urrgh.

Then when I asked flat out after doing his reading if he will get temporary custody, this card came up again. Not good.

So then I get the call today from my mother who had gone with Aaron (my brother) to see the lawyer in prep for next week. She mentions the card to me on the phone, as I told her I was worried, and also mentions that Aaron had a dream last night that he was being stabbed in the back. Well..

So apparently after they trade affidavits, i.e. Aaron sees those that his wife collected and she sees his, they see that there are 2 affidavits from friends of my mother not only supporting the Psycho Wife from @#$%!! but also trashing my brother stating he asked one of them to lie, and both stating that my parents were unkind and ganging up on his wife and my brother did not support her (maybe because shes PSYCHO!). This came as a HUGE blow to my parents, as they have been really kind to these 2 people, above and beyond the scope of friendship, if you ask me. And while my mother's friend is not responsible for the actions of her child or her child's husband, she did know what they had done and never said anything to my mom, which considering all they have done for each other, was pretty devastating to my mom.

The Lord of Ruin is starting to materialize. BUT - Im not so sure this is necessarily a bad thing. This card is not just about feeling stabbed in the back, in fact remember that swords is a picture of the mind and does not necessarily refer to a literal meaning, though certainly it can. The 10 of swords is also about endings and release, the ending of unwelcome situations, bad habits, depressive and harmful phases. I would definitely classify this entire divorcing/custody experience that way, and I would also definitely describe the relationship/"friendship" with this group of people in this way.

The relationship between my mother and her friend, we will call her C, and my mother and C's family has been needing to be cut off for quite a while. This has been very difficult considering C and my mother have friends in common and belong to many of the same friendship circles. I think this incident will make it much, much easier for my mom to release this group of extra baggage.

It brings to mind the 2nd card of the reading I did for this situation this week, the 8 of swords. I see where some sharper, less defeated ways of thinking need to be used - not just regarding the divorce case, but also regarding the company we choose to keep. I can see where the focus of the victim mentality needs to be adjusted and how that is binding the hands of everyone and blinding them to the truth in front of them.

I can also see brighter days on the other side of the 10 of swords card. I cannot imagine that anyone in their right mind would find either of these 2 people credible references. The situation of their own family is disastrous, with C's daughter having left her husband after spending the last year in bars everynight, telling him she was doing karaoke with her girlfriends when, in fact, she was cheating on him with a now unemployed bartender. In turn, her husband has been arrested for domestic violence, with my parents having bailed him out of jail by mortgaging their home last year (nice way to say thanks, huh). I do not think I am biased when I say that if I was a judge, I would have no time for the opinions of a mother who has spent the last year carousing in bars every night while her children are home with the father she is cheating on, nor would I have any time for the man who was arrested for beating her. Neither obviously uses good judgment - and I would wonder about the person calling them friends enough to recommend their opinions be taken into account regarding the welfare of 2 children.

So that could tie into the final outcome of the 4 of cups.. the gift sitting right in front of all of them which they have not been seeing.. or into the 6 of wands that came as the next step..

Strength?

Wow - its been a month since Ive posted.. guess Ive been busy! And so I have! My reading for this week:

1. What I have: 2 of wands

2. What I need to know: Strength

3. Outcome: The Hermit

Ive been thinking and contemplating on this reading ALL DAY. I get the 2 of Wands, because that really is sooo me right now. Im just on the verge of getting busy with my life, and Im talking really busy, but im sitting in limbo right now, setting things up, taking care of other things in order to get ready to move into the next phase of things. Im contemplating my whole world right now really.

Blysse has been accepted as a boarding student at school. Whether she goes or not remains to be seen. Her father, affectionately known around here as the POS (ill leave that to your imaginations) has yet to help out support-wise. She has called him a number of times and he says he is going back to work and will help, but he hasnt helped in over 3 years, so the likelihood of that is wearing thin, which will be devastating for her. Eric and I have crunched and crunched the numbers, and there just is not way around it, we cannot do it without his help. So this remains the big question upcoming next month.

If he comes through, and Im trying to send positive energy and vibes and visualizaitons in that direction, she leaves home and there I will be looking through the portal between the wands with the world in my hands deciding what to do.

I was accepted to UNCG and am registered for a full semester. So right now is the calm before the storm, the calm before I walk through that portal, again, to really change my life and take it in a new direction. Questioning did I take on too much work or class or studying.. contemplating, knowing I can do it and getting ready to do so.

And also on the brink of what to do with this tarot stuff. I was set to do 3 workshops this summer, one I did. Not a huge response for that or the one from this past weekend, birth cards, which I ended up cancelling, as I ended up with the weekend off from work and decided to head down to Atlanta to see the family. Beginning tarot classes start in the Fall, not sure how that is going to end up. I am scheduled to read this coming weekend on Sunday and also the Sunday before I leave for the beach, and much of what I will choose to continue depends on these dates and whether or not I am busy enough. I certainly do not need a third job, definitely dont need one where I am not earning money for sure! So Im kinda on the brink deciding about this as well. So the world is definitely in my hands and my destiny to be decided..

Strength - Im not sure about this. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. Strength is more than just an inner strength. Its befriending the lion, I think, or maybe I am the lion roaring away.. ? I was reading the hard copy of the card meanings that came with my Tarot of Dreams deck. Ciro did the artwork, but the meanings were done by Lee Bursten, who really is fantastic too. He mentions that the Strength card is part of a triumvirate consisting of The Chariot, Strength and The Devil. A triumvirate is a commision of ruling body per Webster. The woman in the card controls the tiger from her intuitive center. She dominates the tiger not by brute strength, but through intelligence, sympathy and love. So maybe this is a hint at how I might have to deal with those things arising in my life..

The outcome of the Hermit is interesting. Normally the hermit is removed from others, kinda sitting back and meditating on what is needed. But the secret to the Hermit is Home. This would be a great stabilizing thing for me considering that mine has been shaken from its foundating, first having to move unexpectedly, now having it kind of possibly being pretty empty come the fall - but I can see through strength how I can make this work for me -

One of the things we finally did was get a second car - which is working much, much better for me now that I can get out of the house and do things on my own instead of being stuck here all day or now in the evenings while Eric is at school. Plus it will help me get to class on my own without having to wait on Eric. This ability to contribute and control more of my life helps center and bring me home.

I do see a key to this reading being a sense of balance - having it, needing it, maintaining it. Maybe sharing it..

I did some readings this past weekend for my family. Urrgh.. i felt sooo not on my game! Not sure if it was me or the cards.. or both, but probably it was me..LOL. My readings for my brother havent been what I would like them to be. I think his doubtful energy affects me. Last time I read for him with my Quest deck and spent the entire reading describing how it would look with the Rider Waite. This time I just took out the Rider Waite, not that it helped. I did a cube of change - it was ok. Then yesterday I did another reading for him here at home:

What does Aaron need to know about getting primary custody of his kids?

1. What he has: 9 of Pentacles reversed. --> got this - feeling entrapped and this being intensified, not all is well in his environment (duh!). Contentment and safety threatened. Victim of deceipt, difficult to relax. All this makes sense considering he has to live with Psycho Wife from @!#$!! until at least after his hearing next week.

2. What he needs to know: 8 of Swords --> It seems to describe more to me the mental thoughts and pattern of his wife, being a prisoner of your own thoughts and prejudice.. to see things differently, the bubble would pop and one would be free of the bondage of the ties, though the ties are loose and one can get out of them at any point. Interesting..

3. Outcome: 4 of Cups. In a negative light, this could mean not being satisfied with things you have, where nothing is good enough. I can see this. In a positive light, it can represent a desire to better your life. Wouldnt that be great for him!

Man - im really liking this accompanying interpretations with this deck!

When I flat out asked if he will get temporary custody, i got the 10 of swords, which I also got in his cube this weekend. I just dont know how to interpret this. Im trying not to fall into that trap of not liking what I see or putting in my own judgment versus what the card is showing. For instance, when i see this, my first instinct is not to think negatively that it means he wont get it, because I know how crazy she is and cannot imagine how any judge would not see this! But as a tarot reader, i sooooo know better than to do this, its been taught to me one too many times for sure! (Last time I ignored what was in front of me and thought I knew better than the tarot, Bonnie ended up having twins!)

I asked what his next step should be - 6 of wands. I kind of think this is positive. Obviously the title to this card is Victory. I also felt like it meant to be a leader. Lee Bursten mentions that even though the man is victorious, this is just for a moment in time. I can see this as a positive thing, though im not sure how this plays out with the previous 10 of swords... does that refer to Aaron, Jeannie, the situation.. ? Validation i guess will be here soon enough!