Journey Significance

So on leaving, I am in the car and Eric asks.. how did it go? I wasnt sure. As the night progressed, I realized that this journeying is a lot like when I delve into Tarot with Ruth Ann and Wald - its one of those things where you have your initial impression, but its something that needs to just sit and.. cook. And that is what it has been doing for me, just sitting, and I am watching as different things open up, which will probably take at least all week, if not longer, but initially things were working:

So I get home.. I was really really hungry, so the first thing I did was inhale a protein shake. Im proud of myself, i needed to pick up some fruit for my shake and walked by the very yummy looking macaroni and cheese, and while I was tempted, i felt spirit pushing me along, because what my body really needed was not comfort food but some protein..lol. Yay me! =)

So I get home, and im starting to feel tired.. I drink my shake, take care of the kittens, give them their meds, lost my patience with one of them, not a good thing.. cuddled up to Spiderman for a little kitty love (littlest kitty who can climb like spiderman), always a warm fuzzy.

Then I head into my room, and I see that Gremlin is in rejuvenate Maris mode.. Gremlin in a fantastic barometer for me. He is my magical empathic creature that I am convinced was sent here to me by the Gods.. I picture it like a scene out of Clash of the Titans (the original one) where the gods would send tools to the titans. While Im pretty sure Zeus and company are not up there watching over me, someone sent this very amazing dog to me 5 years ago and I am always astounded by his gifts. One of them is he is extremely empathic, and when i am running on emotional empty, he seems to think it is his purpose to fix me. I didnt think I was on emotional empty, just that i had gotten up at 7, did a lot of psychic work and had not eaten.. but there must have been more to it, because Gremlin was in full-on heal me mode.

After 10 minutes of Gremlin therapy, Im still crazy tired. And I had a caribbean party to go to that i did not want to miss. Soooo.. I make a cup of coffee and headed into the Tarot room, lit some sage incense, did a banishing pentagram ritual, did some middle pillar chants, and put my deck in order - I am feeling rejuvenated. I then ask the Tarot - what was the significance of going and doing shamanic journeying today?

Card 1 - what I have: King of Swords. He has been following me around since the Readers Studio. One of the things we I spoke about on first starting journeying was how I tend to be in my head a lot. I would say this validated my place and reason why I sought this out.. because i know I am master of my mind and bringing my thoughts into being and action, I do know and realize I can do anything I put my mind to, and I am ready to take responsibility for those things. I have this side of myself mastered as much as one can realize they are masterful of those things. Its also the reason why I seek out other intuitive modalities to expand other parts of myself.

Card 2 - What I need to Know: High Priestess reversed. No duh! LOL. This card in addition to my outcome really resonated with me. I need to work on my intution and listening to myself and honoring what I already know I need. I think one of the purposes of seeking out this type of work is to help straighten her out, making her upright by working on journeying and using that as a tool to do so. The high priestess guards the portal through the veil, which is exactly what we did today in journeying, going through the misty veil - which was a very kewl thing to do, btw. I saw the correspondence between going through the veil today in journeying and then the high priestess showing up in my reading. She guards the portal through the veil, and working with her will help me get through the veil to where i want to go, maybe helping me with some of the challenges I had today...

Card 3 - What I get: Ace of Pentacles reversed. I think this had a lot of meanings for me.. Mary Greer in her Tarot Reversals mentions that the pentacle in the hand looks much like a wheel of fortune and the reversal could refer to being stuck in a rut. While I dont think I am in a rut, per se, I do think I have not been working much with my high priestess or continuing other tarot work I had been doing, and so maybe the reversal of my high priestess and not working with her and working on me that way is blocking my ability to manifest those things I wish to.. and I would describe many things going on in my life that way. I feel like the message is that to keep her unbalanced is to block myself and put myself into a psychic rut... and to work on placing my high priestess right-side up will also get the ace and the suite of manifestation working better and more easily for me... offering the entire suit of manifestation.

So where I was not sure when I first left of the significance of our work today, this is starting to materialize to me at this point now, about 4 hours later... and I am sure the insights will continue on through the night and weekend.

Usually after working psychically the way I did this morning, I am exhausted, and did get so this evening, but after saging and casting my circle i was feeling much better. I went to the party and had a great time, though I was ready to head home by 11, but I lasted a lot longer than I thought I would have, i was predicting 9 pm, working on stretching that to 10, and really I went through to 11. However, once I got home, I could not see straight. I was like the walking unconscious, only I did not resist it this time, and I headed to sleep. I thought maybe I would dream of my journeys, I did not.. which is okay.

I thought Kelley was great and I loved the people I worked with yesterday. I dont want to put their names here, but they were so kewl - very open and giving. My partner was fantastic, I was really lucky. Sometimes when I go to these types of things, the people there are working on their stuff and can be really depressed or sad, which makes these things harder to do for me. Everyone we worked with today was able to really be open and sharing and giving, which was fantastic and made it easy for me to do so too. I love when things come together that way.

Im feeling pretty rejuvenated this morning. I really think that one of the things I took from this was that I need to do more reading. I havent really done much reading since the Readers Studio - which is not unusual for me, since the Studio tends to be so intense and I get so saturated in tarot that when I get home the last thing I want to do is pick up my deck for a bit. There have been a few times over the last 2 weeks that I have thought about meditating and working with my deck and met with a bit of resistance - its been a tough few weeks though too for me - but yesterday afternoon, I had this inner knowing that what I needed to do was sit and clear myself out, and put the world in order, and Tarot does that for me, and I think I had forgotten that - and sitting in my room doing this felt like coming home and sitting with my best friend and having one of those great cleansing talks.

So.. thank you my guides and angels and the Universe for always being there for me and reminding me that you always are, even when I do not feel like chatting, and especially for when I do.

Shamanic Journeys

Awesome and amazing experience today. I signed up last month to do a shamanic workshop with Kelley Harrell who is just outside of Raleigh. It was a 4 hour workshop. I have worked with one other shaman prior to this and enjoyed it, and I was moved at the time I saw this posted to check it out again, and so at 7 am this morning, I got myself up and readied to journey out, not sure what I would find, as some of my other trips to work in some of the groups in Raleigh have not been so hot, but I was ready and open to whatever I might discover.

Just like with most intense paths we go down leading inside ourselves, this too requires some sitting time. By this I mean that when I first was finished up and heading to my car.. sitting in there sharing with Eric, when he asked how it went, I said.. it was okay.. it was good, I enjoyed learning the new things, meeting new people and working with them, but beyond that, I didnt have much to say about it. Which is not a bad thing.. its one of those things that sinks in, and as the rest of the afternoon and evening start to unfold, so did more perspective of my journeys.

We talked about different things shamans did, very interesting. We talked about the difference between shamanic thinking and other types of psychic work and schools of thought. I love the idea that we are all connected and all equal, which is a big precept of shamanic work. Love that.

Then we did some journeying. Shamanic journeys are similar to pathworking except that instead of pathworking through a card, we journeyed through the veil, then through to speak to our guides and ask for guidance on an issue of on our hearts, and then we had a partner and journeyed for them.

In shamanic work you work with the tree (i dont remember what the tree is officially called), the lower world is in the roots, the middle in the trunk of the tree, and the upper world in the leaves and branches. So we were going to be working in the upper world with our guides, and she wanted us to get to the upper world by going up through the veil, which is through the cloudy area. We were to bring ourselves up through the tree through this cloudy area that was to be wet and moist and humid and cloudy, up through there and above this. This was our first journey.

I have previously gone through the trunk of the tree up to meet my guide, in fact, that was the first time I met her was going up through the trunk as if in an elevator, though I do not recall going through a veil. I remember going up and going into a leafy, beautiful area where she was waiting for me. It was an awesome thing - another blog for another time.

So I started going up the trunk, I saw a staircase and I would go about halfway and then the picture would stop, I could not get to the veil that way. I just kind of stood there, and then all of a sudden, my third eye would start to open where I would see the blue and purple start and then that became cloudy for me, never quite getting to what I would think should have been a white cloudy place, but it did become a cloudy place. I would have thought prior that the cloudy place would have been thin.. but this was thicker and took a bit to get through. On getting through, before doing this I would have thought I would then have come to a very bright, clear and kind of white/light blue sky area, but instead it was more colored like a sunset.

We had talked earlier about how we know if what we are doing is real versus whether it is something we are making up. One of the ways I have learned for me that my guides make things real for me is to change things up so they appear as they are described as they should be, but with a twist in order for me to confirm that I did not make it up. For instance, if this would have been pictured as I imagined it would have prior to starting, then I would have wondered if I had not made it up. But because it came in slightly different colored in a way I would not have thought, it validated for me that I did not make it up, as had I done so, it would have looked a bit different.

That was all we were to do with the first visualization, and I then returned the way I came, as instructed, back through the veil, then i saw my chakra colors.. and then I felt for my surroundings and opened my eyes.

The second journey was to do the same thing only meet whatever guides were to assist us with this journey. I was still in a pretty trancy state, so getting up there again was much easier, and I went pretty much in the same way. This time I see this tiny guy who looked a bit like Max Headrom.. in this very metalic shirt with a black vest, face kind of whitish, white and blank hair spiked out.. and he was dancing to the beat of the drum Kelley was using to put us into the trance. I had never seen him before. He was having a great time.. but the minute I realized that I was in the trance seeing him, or anything during this journey, my mind would snap out of the trance. Then it would go back in.. id see something and recognize i was seeing something, then it would snap out of it again. Then I was back in and the little guy turned into a man's face.. an older man, probably about late 40s or 50s, bald like Mr. Clean, but with these bright, bright blue eyes. At seeing him, of course I snapped out it, went back and saw him again, then snapped out of it, and then i started getting mad at the whole thing, and had to come out totally.

The frustration of seeing myself popping in and out of the trance made it tougher to do the next journey, where we were to go up and talk to our guides and get clarity on what is most weighing on our hearts. I got nowhere - which just figures - Im telling you.. the minute it comes time to getting some really useful information or the minute it seems like I might, something will happen where it is either not for real, like when I went to find out my sacred contract which turned out to be .. whatever.. or like now where i frustrated myself to the point where I could not access that place again. LOL - i know the message in that, its just one of those things that I dont want to hear. I want to be able to easily access those places where all the answers are, and the message to me, I feel, is that it just is not that easy and life just does not work that way - and consciously and subconsciously, even, I know this, I understnad this, I understand the wisdom and the necessity of this. But I dont like it. =)

The last journey we did was for a partner. I was at first concerned because I did not want to try to do this for a partner and have difficulty getting in and not be able to offer anything to her, it had me a bit anxious. It had her anxious too, and she told me she couldnt do this, to which I said, dont say that! Otherwise it will be a self-fulfilling thing.. and the only thing worse than me not getitng information would be if someone else could not..LOL. I was not just speaking to her, I was also speaking to me. So I put out a positive affirmation that we can do anything we wish and we have all the tools we need to do so, and I did the first journey for her.

Way kewl thing happened. I was totally open psychically, so when she asked her questions, I was able to answer them without having to journey, per se, I definitely was seeing information without having to go into a trance to help her, which I did share. So my purpose in journeying was getting validation of this, i think, and also to add more detail. Very kewl thing happened when i was journeying - I literally was able to observe her in her life.. as I saw her writing or sitting at her computer. I asked different questions to see if I could give her more information that what I had already seen, I got some in the details of watching her that was helpful to her.. but it was interesting, it was like being a fly on a wall in a room. Kelley said it would be easier to do this for another person than for ourselves, and she was absolutely right, this was much easier because I was not so dependent on what I found. I didnt have the same need.

My partner had an amazing vision for me. I just explained how my life is in total transition with the end of Blysse's junior year and all the stress that came with that and her now being away.. and the whole summer ahead of me.. and how uncomfortable I have been feeling, which I know is about growing and things changing, and what did I need to know about my discomfort.

She told me she saw Blysse and in front of her was her father, who was bigger and very solid in his stance, subborn, and he was standing in front of Blysse so that I could not see her, though she was behind her dad, but no matter how I moved, I was not able to see her. I was sitting on a big turtle. She said that all of a sudden Blysse's father became invisible and I was able to see her and she was waving to me and saying hi very excitedly, and there was a beautiful gold cord that formed attaching she and i at our umbilicus and it was glowing and glittery and vibrant. The turtle was trying to move, but everytime he did, i would pull at him, trying to pull him the other way, and as I did so, the cord between Blysse and I would pull and get tight. Eventually both Blysse and her dad disspearing and it was just me struggling with this turtle, trying to control him and move him the other way. And she said I was pretty frustrated and upset at not being able to get the turtle to go in the direction I wanted him to. Finally, I threw up my hands and gave it up.. and the turtle took me to a beach. She said it was a beautiful beach where dolphins were swimming and jumping and the turtle took me into the water where we swam. She said I was really, really happy there.

LOVE IT!!

Interestingly my goal this summer is to work on RELEASE, so I found this vision soooo helpful and enlightening.

So these were my journeys - I will put my thoughts on this in my next post!