7 of Wands

Lots to write about over the last 2 weeks, and its been busy enough that this is the first chance I have gotten not only to write it out but to process it as well.

Readers Studio website has been created over the last week. I think everyone has been having a lot of fun with it. Its kind of a facebook forum, which is really kewl. I love facebook but thats just something with all the games and gadgets I never have enough time to follow and keep up with..lol. The Studio website is a little more down to earth and less quirky i think. =) I now have to figure out how to get my background in there from a picture like Doug - his background is sooo kewl and he made it from a picture he has. Im sure it will take me forever to figure that one out, and Im sure its as easy as this background here was which took me forever..LOL.. but when i do, you all know you will be hearing me dance around the room!

I am just now this week getting to start to play with all my toys from the Studio. I got 2 decks from the studio, the Maat deck and the Tarot of Dreams. So the first thing I did was put the book that came with the Maat deck in the bathroom. Sounds kinda male and gross, prolly too much info..LOL.. but it is a way to get in an extra few minutes of reading time in a day uninterrupted. Ok - this is a fantastic book! What drew me to begin with was the beauty of it. Its like this old fashioned book inside. The paper looks like it could be parchment (its not, but it has that feel to it) and the print is old fashioned and the ink looks like it was almost written with a quill. Its really beautiful. Im only through the intro, but reading about Julie's process and how she got started and created her decks was really fascinating, and Im looking forward to the rest of the book! And then.. the deck!

So last night I finally got a chance to check out the CD that came with my Tarot of Dreams. Ciro has done an amazing job on that CD!! Hes done an amazing job with the whole package, actually. The CD has this program where you can do a reading like those online where you hit this shuffle button and then tell it how to spread the cards out.. you hit the card to turn it over. Very kewl.

It also has extras where I got to read and see how he creates his decks and art work on the computer - he must have a really steady hand and a lot of patience - my goodness! It also has letterhead and all kinds of other stuff. Its really neat.

I did my first reading with the deck today. Now I found there were good and bad things about this deck. The good things: Its gorgeous. The pics are so vibrant and beautiful.. i love the deck, its like spiritual eye candy for me. I love the card descriptions that came on the CD as well, very good and lots of different points, i.e. position on the tree, astrology, etc. Love those.

Bad points - the cards are big and they are stiff. So its hard for me to shuffle and really concentrate to put my energy there. That frustrated me this morning. It took me 2 shuffles to feel like I had gotten somewhere. By 2 shuffles I mean I shuffled the first time, frustrated, and when i pulled cards, they were nonsense. Which of course frustrated me even more. I was near tears over the thought that this would be a pretty deck but one i was not able to read with. And in my fit of frustration, there was my ever patient husband coaching me to be patient and work with them more and calm down..LOL. It was tough because I didnt really want to bend and work the cards because they are so pretty and I dont want the cards warped and stuff. Not sure what I would do without the patience of my husband, probably not have any dishes or glasses in 1 piece for sure!

But I did do it again, shuffling a little differently.. and finally got a picking of cards that felt right:
1. What I have: 8 of wands
2. What I need to know: 7 of wands
3. Outcome: Emperor reversed

According to the tarot, I seem to be in a fighting place this week and last. Last week I was kind of lost with my reading, hence the lack of posting. I really needed to wait to see how this played out. This week it is starting to materialize more for me. Last week's reading:
1. The Lovers reversed
2. Ace of Pentacles
3. 7 of wands

I think the Lovers reversed was referring to me being in my own space as opposed to sharing it with my partner. Ive been definitely off-kilter these last 2 weeks health-wise and spirit wise, which normally comes up for me as a reversed queen of wands, but that week and last it was important that I blend more physicially with Eric and I just was not feeling well at all.

The ace was a welcome element, and we definitely did better financially these past 2 weeks, much better than I thought we would. I got to actually save some money, and our George Bush refund was sent last week, which was nice.

Interesting that last week's outcome is leading into what I need to know for this week. Im thinking, though I could be wrong, that this as well as the 8 of wands are referring to the school issue for Blysse. She wants to board at school next year, and Im dealing with the principal in this regard and his hesitation to allow this. Its very frustrating to her and me. Last year they would not allow Blysse to board at school, as she had a rather ... tumultuous.. entrance interview where Blysse chose to label herself as bipolar, not realizing what that meant. Obviously that very much freaked the good conservatives at the American Hebrew Academy out, and they were not only not believing me when I told them this was not the case, but they were not amenable to having her live there. Some months later after pointing out to Blysse what a bipolar person looks liek when behaving manic, she was pretty horrified that she told someone that was her. On the one hand, while I think about this it is pretty funny, very Blysse and very middle school thinking, but on the other, the consequences to her have been grave. They almost did not admit her to a school which has been life-changing for her, and they are still not very open to the idea of her living there.

So we are end of year now and she wants to board there next year. Those who know me know that I am not necessarily thrilled about this, for a number of reasons. Frankly, after what I have seen this year, I dont think any child should be in a boarding school. I never realized how much our kids need even 10 minutes a day at home with us, even the most independent of kids. When they dont get this, i think they just combust after a few weeks. However, Blysse really wants the opportunity to bond and get really close to the kids there before they leave for Israel Junior year. So I told her to talk to the principal and discuss this with him and share her growth with him.

He, on the other hand, got kind of ticked off after her counselor tried to make the appointment and laid into me about how my daughter's admission to the school and the conditions were between he and I. Whatever. Frankly, I have very little patience for the narrow mindedness of him and his admissions person, who I think it is a total idiot and should not be in charge of deciding which children are sane enough to be in their school, she does not seem to have the insight one needs, as considering they think Blysse is "bipolar" Blysse is probably the most down to earth of the kids Ive met so far, and one of the more sane ones, so that should give you an idea that yes - teenagers are crazy.

One of these days I will get over my total frustration and "bitterness" at the whole process between these 2 people..LOL. I think its the mom lion in me that just starts roaring every time I think of the whole situation. My wand just starts firing up!

Anyway, after the principal sent the command to me through Blysse's counselor to call him, and after I explained my thinking process in having Blysse sit down with him, he understood a little better (I think). So he asked me to have her evaluated by her doctor to submit a report to him, and then we are to sit down and talk, which I had done on Friday.

So Im waiting for the letter to come, after while I will call this guy and set up this appointment. Last year this time when we did this, the letter was fine but of course our typical school administrator did not agree, and the rest is history so far. So I can see where my current situation of the 8 wands in row ready are.. and I can see my fight ahead and that Im on higher ground (and right!) but possibly still with a few fights or cases to make. The 7 tells me I can do this, but I can see from the picture that this will not be a nice warm and fuzzy lets have tea meeting.

My worry is the outcome of the upside-down emperor. Not sure if that means hes going to be a jerk anyway in spite of a good case or if its just a description of what I think of this guy anyway.. which would fit.. or both? I feel like from this reading its indicating to me that even though I may have the ability to do this and its a tough fight and even in spite of the 7th position and the heat of possibility, that because I am dealing with an emperor type, the reversal indicates it might not make a difference.

Or maybe it means that itwill be fine but he will still be an upside-down emperor to me regardless. LOL Or maybe that it will just be longer until I meet with the emperor and the reversal just indicates a delay..

Or maybe I will be an upside-down emperor instead and the whole thing will make me feel that way, which it sometimes does. I dont always feel very well liked there for some reason, though to turn it around, I dont always like them too much anyway. I need to get over my offense which apparently seems to be tough to do. Its hard, though, when a group of people tell you your child is too mentally ill to do something when you know nothing could be further from the truth, and then you see all these other kids who are just as.. who are the same or even more challenged.

Now Im feeling that they are not applying the same standards to Blysse as they do the rest of the kids, and that is not fair to her. I do realize that a lot of this is her own doing though, and I guess she will have to live with that. I understand that, i know that in the scheme of things this is her path, but as her mother, as a person who tends to be a Queen of Wands, Im not too good with watching her pain over it.

Im doing my first professional reading next week. Very excited about that, though im kinda nervous. They did this raffle to raise money to help this stray cat they found at Eclectic by Nature, he was pretty sick and the bills are high. So I offered a 30-minute reading for their raffle. So someone won and they will be coming to my house next week for their reading! I read for people all the time, but this is the second step toward my goal set to really master my art. Im going to be doing 2 workshops this summer for Eclectic by Nature, and then hopefully will be teaching beginning tarot. Those were one of my goals, teaching. Now getting more out into the community here and reading and being a reader as opposed to the person my friends and family call when they are in a panic was another goal of mine. I started doing that a little bit, some of my colleagues were asking for readings. I didnt like that too much, too tricky political wise, just didnt like getting to know my boss' husband that well...LOL. So this is kewl and Im excited and scared to death, but Im ready and I know I can do it, i do it all the time. =)

At worse, it will give me more to blog about. LOL