Chaos

Okay - the card here is the oracle card I pulled for my week this week upon asking for help and support. Very fitting though.

So as usual, I did my reading last week and got the following:

1. What I have: 3 of wands reversed

2. What I need to know: knight of cups reversed

3. What I get: King of cups

I did this reading with my new Tarot of Dreams deck. Okay.. so 3 of wands reversed.. hmmm biting off more than I can chew, difficulty putting plans into action or experiencing creative block, anxiety.. I had no clue what that was about. Nor did I understand the knight of cups either.. So Im frustrated thinking once again i was running into issues with shuffling this deck.. which would block me kind of.. but i hardly thought that would be a reading for the week. I didnt use another deck or do another reading, but I was most frustrated over this reading.

That was on Monday. Thursday I receive a note from our landlord that our lease was up next month and we needed to move out. ?!?!? Eric calls them to find out what in the world that is about, if its just a standard note and we need to renew our lease or if the owner wants the house back or ..? They apparently felt things were not working out and had been telling the owner this over the last few months and telling him how unhappy we were and how we do not handle issues properly and so the owner felt that if we were that unhappy we should move.

I felt like I had been sucker punched and for 2 days I was just not able to even engage into this situation. We love this house, though we detest the company that manages it, they are horrible. We didnt wish or plan to move though, that is for sure, and finding a home here that meets our needs is not an easy task since we need to live in a specific area to be by Blysse.

All of a sudden my reading at the beginning of the week starts formulating in my head. Difficulty putting plans in action or even making a plan, anxiety, having bitten off more than i can chew. The upside down knight involving a person who is just a loser, apparently very dishonest and scheming in regard to our management company person who is just a brainless idiot.

So Eric speaks to the manager there, asks for specifics, which of course were not given to him. I know much of it surrounded my losing it with the person who handles our house after she sent a strange person to work on the outside and did not tell me. I was here alone and there is someone banging around the house wiht an unmarked truck out front. So when i called and found out she had sent him and she said she had but was not legally required to notify me, the first thing out of my mouth to begin my launch was, "Are you crazy?" as she did not think there was any reason for me to be upset over a stranger outside the house while I am here alone, and it ended up with me very loudly telling her that if I ever see anyone out front tooling around this house while Im home alone here and not aware there was someone to be here i would call the police and press charges.

So Eric with all his patience asks the manager to discuss with the owner that we love the house and do not wish to leave and explains how frustrating it is to call them when something needs to be fixed only to receive no calls in return for a week or two at a time, how we do pay our rent on time, how we take very good care of this home, better than anyone else has for quite some time, I might add, etc., and she offers to discuss this with the owner.

We, in the meantime, spend the balance of the week and weekend looking for another place to live. Because even if he is willing to have us remain, I am not open to my fate being in the hands of losers, which is how I would describe Rent A Home of the Triad, and would have done so even before they sent me their note. And while I love this house in a lot of ways, they have been a problem since we moved in and I have not even thrown my boxes away since moving here because of this, as at least every other month I am ready to pack out of frustration from them. So by end of weekend, I definitely felt plugged into my truth and more like the King of cups in this respect.

This week's reading:

1. What I have: 5 of Swords reversed

2. What I need to know: 3 of cups reversed

3. Hanging Man

Hmmm. So I get this email from Blysse saying that if her counselor or teacher from school call me, dont get upset, there is a small problem and she is handling it. !?!?! I call her counselor who tells me its quite a big problem because apparently Blysse's capstone and her friend and lab partner's are identical and they were not to work together on this. And when confronted, Blysse was not apologetic. Urrgh. Welcome the 5 of swords reversed. I dont think the situation is going to have a great outcome for the group of kids here.. though i could be wrong.

This could also be plugging into me and not having a lot of time for socializing and being busy, as I do have a lot on my plate now to do between work, moving, and doing readings - im pretty swamped actually. I literally do not have time to move, as in setting a date for this, which is kind of crazy. I did forget though that eric will be off school soon, so maybe he can help with this detail when he is finished school.

On the other hand, Blysse did get invited to board at school, which came right before the note from her that she was in trouble. Ironic. While Im so proud of her and really thrilled, it is with a most heavy heart that I hear this, as I do not want her moving out. So that will be the next issue to get over after we work on this school issue and move.

Which I guess will lead me to my outcome of the Hanging Man. I can see how I am getting ready to go into a new phase but hanging myself up and holding up progress. I can see my introspection in this and maybe how i might need to change my perspective on things, that I am not seeing them clearly. I do not think it is something I want to see. At least not today, as Michale Neill would say, but this can always change tomorrow maybe. LOL