Lord of Strength

Reading for the week of March 10:

1. What you have: 9 of Wands

2. What you need to know: 8 of Pentacles reversed

3. What you get: Star reversed.

I think the card I am most identifying with this week is the first, as when i drew it, it really illustrated best how am was feeling. So I went into the weekend recovering, so to speak, from my tiff with Eric, feeling totally high from reading with the witches on Thursday night.. Coffee meetup was really a lot of fun, gave out some of my cards, which was kewl. Still dreading our meetup for Saturday night. BUT.. i spent the afternoon preparing - i had this total Wheel presentation ready to go on the IPOD, the works. 1 person shows up. 8 RSVPs, and 1 person there.

So I really think this card is a great self portrait. Because im pretty sick and tired of wasting my energy on a group and a group of people who really do not seem to share my passion. Its been a pretty disappointing endevour for me in this regard, as our group in Las Vegas was really a lot of fun and we had made so many kewl friends and connections, people I still talk to today having moved 3000 miles away. The group inspired me and motivated me, and helped me. This group here.. i feel like I have been working and working and fighting and fighting for something that only I really want. And I cannot say I am enjoying it, because I am not. So here I am in this card.. building up my wall around me in frustration and defeat and annoyance.. yet I know inside that I cannot let this kind of thing get me down. I can see from this card that I am pretty much at the end of this, with this card being a 9. I know the deal, the only thing not done is for it to be in front of me, which would probably look more like some very honest and frank direct conversations which I am not motivated to do. And I think that also really isolates me but at the same time i see its finishing..

The 8 of pentacles reversed as what I need to know is a little trickier for me. On the one hand, it could simply be the opposite of its upright implying im not doing enough work or working and concentrating hard enough. I dont think that works for me, i really do not think that is true. I worked pretty darn hard on Saturday in preparation and usually work pretty hard at coming up with ideas, etc.

It can also refer to being tired of working so hard or feeling stuck at a dead end job, wishing to change occupations, lack of concentration. It also talks about inner work and therapy, working through patterns, writing daily. This might be more the case, but im not sure where the wisdom lies in this.. ? I definitely feel stuck professionally and even with this group, for sure. I have been working on inner stuff, no therapy, sorry. And Im writing more than I have in years, so thats true. Maybe its that i need to keep going with this and follow through in spite of how Im feeling.. Maybe that is the way out.

So what i get is my star still being upside down, meaning my clarity of vision is lacking, not seeing the true star in myself.. time for being rather than doing. Okaaaay..

I guess clarification is coming next week..lol.

My spirit card for the week is RELATIONSHIP: Your energies will attract new people into your life. I could use some of that for sure!! Uh oh - there goes my Star turning again!