Validation

I am most restless today, i should be working but have much on my mind in regard to the Wheel. In the past few weeks, the things I needed to know really did not have a huge effect on my life generally, this week the wheel has been turning and really been huge for me.

So Eric and I have this ongoing issue since this summer, and we had a huge argument earlier this week and we are speaking but its weird. So yesterday I pull a relationship spread:

1. The Querent - The Queen of Wands reversed - Bingo.
2. My immediate lesson - 4 of Wands
3. The bigger picture - Page of Cups reversed.
4. What I should do - The Wheel of Fortune

5. What I should not do - 4 of pentacles

6. Situation feeding into the core of issue - 10 of pentacles.

This was a pretty huge reading. When the Queen of Wands is upside down, she is not just being a bitch and witch but also feeling like her growth is being strained and difficult, ambitions being thwarted. She goes from being not just fire in temper but ice cold in her demeanor, withholding affection and warmth. This would absolutely describe me and my feelings toward my current situation. It feels to me like everyone is out there growing and doing the things they need to become who they are supposed to.. while Im sitting here at home not able to go anywhere or do anything except sit at my desk and work. Which ticks me off and frustrates me because it is not a situation totally within my control (if it was i certainly would not be here).

The immediate picture is the 4 of wands - which refers to our home, our life, marriage.. This card in this position is always read as upright.

Feeding into the situation was the 10 of pentacles - which is a card that shows life carrying on, we see a village and the family moving through their affairs. One of the aspects of this is seeking permanance, and i think this card talks about what we are trying to achieve and what we want our life to look like with all of us busy and happy and getting things done.

Over top - the bigger picture - Page of cups reversed. Now Eric frequently describes himself as the Page of Cups. So Im looking at this and seeing that both the Queen of Wands (me) and the Page of Cups (him) are upside down - Ya! Seeing the Page over my head did not do much for my mood..lol. And being the very feminine, upside down Queen I am, I immediately think that this Page is Eric, and it very well could be..

But on closer inspection of who the Page of Cups reversed is, Im not so sure: He is afraid of love, denies vulnerability. Loss of innocense. Needing constant assurance that you are loved. Oversensitivity and sensibility. Unromantic, callous. Maybe you have decided you will never be vulnerable again. Obsessed with magic and spirits.

This could very well be Eric, but I do have to keep in mind that people around us are mirrors of ourselves - and what part of that Page is me?

What should I do - Wheel of Fortune. Understand this too shall pass, it may be on a negative turn, but this is followed by positive times too. Keep it in scale, knowing also that Eric's wheel is turning as well as Blysse's wheel which feel different than my wheel and cycles. Maybe I should be appreciating the other things in my life and be looking around me for those instead of just being fixated on those things which do not make me happy..

What should I not do - 4 of Pentacles. Hmmm.. this is a tougher one. Maybe not be so fixated on the material things (easy to say but very difficult when you do not have things like a car to leave your house!). Maybe not be so protective over my heart.. ?

So we were hanging out with the witches in Winston Salem last night. We had the best time!! It was tarot night and we had some new readers, some experienced some not.. and we did some great readings last night. And what reassuring card came up for someone - thats right The Wheel of Fortune! It was great to give her that gift!! And I think we are coming up to a new cycle with that group with some new ideas, and I loved that!

And - I just got my first BOTA packet yesterday too - and Im beyond excited!! So I think the wheel is moving around this week, in that I felt kinda stuck with Tarot now that class has been suspended until after the Studio and Ive been having a tougher time with our own group.. it was great to have the BOTA stuff come and also have a great night of readings this week in Winston Salem. Im feeling really good about that today and heading into the weekend..

Where we will cover The Wheel of Fortune Saturday night - coincidence - i think not! I wish the Wheel in that regard was more upright though..